Heartache

The Special One paid a heavy price for falling out with star man Paildo hours before kickoff as the Zebras crashed to a heartbreaking last minute loss to Sporting Lesbian.

Paildo pulled out at the eleventh hour, rumoured to be unhappy about the manner in which the Special One had persistently run around their shared living accommodation lifting plates above his head in triumph while shouting, "I've won the Community Shield!"

Paildo's absence meant that the Zebras were forced to play with just six men. Therefore it was particularly ironic that Freemisco - who had already given away five of the first six goals with the combination of his rapist's touch and lack of positional awareness - was culpable for the winning goal in the dying seconds.

Freemisco's fading fitness meant he was unable to react to Ricadisco's perfectly weighted throw. With Freemisco labouring towards the ball like a mortally wounded woolly mammoth, the Lesbian striker pounced, nipping into steal the ball before unleashing a lethal strike that rocketed into the corner of the net to make it 7-6 with seconds remaining.

There was no way back.

Despite the result the Zebras produced a gallant performance. There were heroes everywhere as the Zebras battled back from 5-3 and 6-5 down to stand on the verge of gaining a well deserved point.

Vanhoino had a fine game (apart from when he set up an opposition goal with a pass so bad that Freemisco would have been ashamed), Austisco scored with a cracking shot, Latinaldo ran around to great effect and gave his knees and lungs for the cause, Ricadisco pulled off save after save, Reito was inspired and even Freemisco had a couple of nice touches.

Freemisco scored one fine goal, albeit a strike that could not quite balance out his myriad errors. He also made a couple of interceptions and did a nice job of carrying the ball from side to side without making any real progress, bossing his own third of the pitch like a slow moving crab.

In fact this may have been Freemisco's best game of the season, scoring one, making one and only giving away five. Even then he had an excuse ready as he gift-wrapped a perfect scoring chance to his opponent, like one of Santa's little elves handing over a present. Freemisco blamed his latest blunder on Ricadisco because the goalkeeper had shouted at him and put him off...

If only he could pass a ball like he passes the buck.

Still, it's a team game and the Zebras win as a team and lose as a team so this is the time to stick together, show solidarity with one another and not place the blame on any one individual. Remember, there is no 'i' in team. But. as Freemisco knows only too well, there is a 'div' in individual!