Wednesday 2 December 2009

Freemisco Shoots! Freemisco Scores! Another Bloody Own Goal!

For the fourth time in five games, Freemisco sent an unstoppable shot crashing past his own goalkeeper.
Whereas the other three goals had simply added to the scale of defeat, this one proved crucial as it gave Amigos a 6-5 lead with minutes to play, thereby ruining a heroic effort from the Sunburned Zebras.
Following hard on the heels of their slightly disappointing 21-2 defeat earlier in the evening, the Zebras produced a masterful display to take a 1-0 lead at halftime against the strongly fancied Amigos who had won all three previous meetings between the teams.
Reito's goal separated the teams at the break after a half that saw some outstanding defensive play from Bexfieto and Latinaldo (Freemisco was parked on the bench for a good portion of the half) and some fine saves from Ricadisco. Tattersao played heroically up front as he roamed and rambled around like a short, fat, white Drogba and the only real controversy came when Freemisco walked into the way of a softly thrown football and had to be spoken to by the referee after complaining.
The Zebras hopes of a famous victory started to collapse after the break. Freemisco conceded a free kick that led to the equaliser before he went down in the corner, crumpling in a heap, evidently the victim of a Floyd Mayweather pile driver. The referee waved play on and the Zebras found themselves 2-1 down. Moments later it was 4-1 as Freemisco once again displayed his concinetious objections to defending.
However, the Zebras stormed back. Latinaldo curled home a glorious shot as his intended cross-filed pass was caught by the wind and blown into the bottom corner. Tattersao made it 4-3 and then Freemisco found the speck of gold that lay inside the sack of shite that was his performance on the night to make it 4-4 with a thunderous effort.
Even after the Amigos made it 5-4 Bexfieto stormed through the defence to equalise and then missed a glorious chance to make it 6-5.
And then disaster struck.
Freemsico, for once breaking the habit of a lifetime by tracking back and trying to mark his man, stretched for a cross. In his own mind he was trying to be crafty, hoping to play a quick one-two with his own goal post before setting off up field on a barnstorming run.
Unfortunately Freemisco proved to be about as crafty as a retard who has been expelled from Crafty School for being utterly un-crafty.
He reached for the ball and lashed a shot past Ricadisco, sending the ball into the bottom corner of the net, to condemn the Zebras to another defeat.
To be fair you win as a team and lose as a team but sometimes - and last night was certainly one of those times - you lose because you have Freemisco in your team.

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