Snow Joke.

The Zebras snow-ploughed their way to another defeat as they lost 11-7 in conditions that could charitably be described as ridiculous.

A combination of the Special One's natural incompetence and bad luck left the Zebras with just five players after Bexfieto opted out at the last moment and Reito was trapped in Leighton Buzzard. Needless to say it was all Freemisco's fault.

The Zebras did not start well and despite some good saves by Ricadisco they quickly found themselves 2-0 down.

Heavy snow was making it difficult to locate the ball and maintain footing and players were soon sliding all over the place.

Freemisco pulled one back before Ricadisco, apparently suffering from snow blindness, basically contrived to blast a slow-moving shot into his own net.

A moment of high farce arrived when neither Paildo, Ricadisco or the opposition striker could find the ball in the middle of the pitch. Fortunately the light from Paildo's flaming ginger hair provided him with the opportunity to locate the ball and hack it to safety.

Paildo's ginger hair shone like a belisha beacon of hope in the arctic conditions as the Zebras humped the ball forward for him to lose control and give possession back to the other team.

Latinaldo pulled a goal back before Freemisco had an emotional moment.

Freemisco was reduced to tears by the cold and claimed he could not go on without gloves, clearly dreading that never again would he be able to hold the love of his life in his arms once the frost bite had kicked in. Fortunately the manly Latinaldo took decisive action, giving Freemisco his own gloves and calling him a cunt.

Austisco drove home the equaliser and the Zebras were surprised to find themselves level at 3-3 at halftime, although not as surprised as their opponents who spent the break squabbling among themselves in a petulant manner reminiscent of Freemisco on the cricket pitch.

The Zebras went 4-3 down when Ricadisco was beaten from long range by a shot he did not see but the plucky Zebras continued to trade blows, pulling level again at 4-4. It was 5-4 moments later as the Zebras midfield parted as Freemisco bent down to tie his lace up (plimsolls don't come with velcro) and despite a double save from Ricadisco the ball ended up in the net. However, Austisco fired home to make it 5-5 and hope and parity were restored.

The game turned on two controversial incidents. The Crazy Gang took a 6-5 lead after scoring a goal from deep inside the area that should have been disallowed. However, it was controversially given.

Moments later Ricadisco pulled off a marvellous save but unfortunately Freemisco, disorientated by the snow and waddling about like Captain Oates on his last legs, ploughed into the area like Santa going down the wrong chimney and blasted the ball into his own net for his first own goal of the year (and about his eighth of the season).

The Zebras fell further adrift but they kept fighting to the end, closing the gap to 11-7 at the final whistle. Freemisco and Austisco both scored three - Freemisco rolled another shot inches wide of his own goal - and honour was satisfied at the end of the game, a game that ended with Ricadisco narrowly failing to save a slow-rolling shot from distance.

Another defeat but another moral victory for the Special One's team on a night when the snow fell, the temperature plummeted and the Zebras proved they can lose in any conditions.